I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
