I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You ate ashes out of my bong
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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