Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
