just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
