Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
