Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
