YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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