it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
