did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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