Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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