I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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