Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
