She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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