he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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