Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
