He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she peed on how many people?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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