Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
