My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
