Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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