i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
