but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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