We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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