We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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