Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
