I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.