You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple