Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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