I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.