he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.