when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
