I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
