You really coming over, don't trick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
