Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
