We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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