there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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