no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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