on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
