don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
