I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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