If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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