I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
