i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
