whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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