you would pick up someone in the library
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
