remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize