Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My breasts were aching with rage.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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