i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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