Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Mom said you looked used
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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