he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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