You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
