Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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