Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
