We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
