I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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