Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
