I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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