My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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