My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
