it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
