I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
