no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
