I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
