my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want nice things and good sex
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
