Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
