Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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